Lesson Learned

So I reluctantly went on a trip with a friend for her birthday. I initially had reservations about going because of the age difference and there were going to be couples on the trip. I went because the birthday girl is a really good person and I love her like a sister.

Well I get there and and everything is cool until we get on the beach. Birthday girl starts complaining about it being hot and how she hates the beach*blank stare* she planned the trip. So we leave the beach to start getting ready for her birthday dinner. The restaurant and food was really nice. However the convo was BORING and you can tell when people are trying to out do each other. Well I ate and left after I paid my tab.

Saturday I started my day early because I didn't want to be with them. I had a great breakfast and spent 6 hrs on the beach....relaxing in the sun. Birthday girl called a couple of times but she was shopping and I had not interest in shopping.

That evening the three of us went to dinner (bday girl, her hubby and I) and her sister joined us later. OMG!! She and I (the sister) almost come to blows and we ALL got kicked out the restaurant.  Birthday girl is crying and super pissed. Needless to say we never made it to any clubs and I feel like I wasted my money.

I learned follow your right mind and don't travel with people you don't know.

I'm blogging from my phone for the first time I'm getting adjusted.

I Woud Kill A B*%$H

Disclaimer there is some profanity in this blog...
In the past couple of weeks I have read and watched on television some high profile women experiencing the ultimate betrayal.  The first was the Shania Twain incident and now Arnold Schwarzenegger .  Now women may be trained or willing to accept that men will cheat and if they choose to forgive that is their decision.  However when the other woman is a friend, family member, associate, etc it is just plain wrong.  I WOULD KILL A B!SH!!

Let's visit Shania's story. Her best friend the person she confided in about EVERYTHING was screwing her husband. Shania said she would talk to the woman about her marriage and that she felt something was wrong.  This skank would tell Shania everything is okay it's your imagination.  Then the lady wasn't woman enough to give her an explanation when Shania found out about the affair. I WOULD KILL A B!SH!

Arnold Schwarzenegger this MF has some nerve. Not only did he cheat he fathered a child with a freaking maid. That is not even the worse part.  He allows the skank to keep working in the same house as his wife.  ULTIMATE DISRESPECT!! Paying her a salary and child support all while his wife doesn't know. I am sure Maria met this child and was very friendly to this skank.  From my understanding the hoe "retired" and received a severance package.  I WOULD KILL A B!SH!

In my personal experiences I've had two friends sleep with a guy I was dating (the same guy).  The funny thing is I was not surprised about one of the females because she was a whore and jealous.  The other female took me completely by surprise (not sure why because her past was questionable).  Ironically the guy in the situation confessed/apologized but the skanks still deny it. This other young lady was trying to be my friend and sleep with a guy I was dating.  Well I politely called her AT WORK and said the following "I don't mind you trying to fuck my man because he is a good man. You trying to be my friend and do it will get you an ass whooping." I was nineteen or twenty at the time #dontjudgeme.  She was so scared that she wouldn't even look in his direction. I ALMOST KILLED A B!SH!!

At this point I keep the men in my life private.  There is only one person I trust around the men in my life. PERIOD

What I don't understand is how do females even get in these situations.  My best friend already knows I don't want to meet someone she likes because they are irrelevant.  If we ever meet I don't want his number, email, facebook or twitter accounts. Some things are just out of order.  If ANY man she was dealing with even tried to call me I would immediately let her know (unless he was planning a surprise).  So how in the world are all these women sleeping with their friends husbands, boyfriends, and  hell even a jumpoff.  Why do they even have access to their mates.  Some people are just off limit!!

Yes the man took the vows and made the promise blah blah blah.... Women need to get more respect period.

I feel like this I can get another hubby, house, car, marriage, etc. I am not sure if I would ever be able to get another best friend. I am not sure if I would ever want to open myself up to another female in that way again.  Even if I did I would be giving her ass the side eye.

What are your thoughts?!  Sorry for the language but this pisses me off!!

We Can't Be Friends

Well the past year I have been doing an overhaul of my friendships.  While thinking on my friendships I began to feel like it is extremely hard to be friends with exes and men. 

I have several male friends but lately I have the feeling that a couple of them want more.  They are starting to make comments and I am wondering what their intentions are.  I've decided to distance myself from them but I have a feeling that I may have to end a couple of those friendships.

I've decided to cut all ties with my exes.  I've deleted their numbers and asked that they not contact me anymore (especially that married one).  Although I have no desire to date/sleep with them I have to admit I am guilty because I use them as time wasters.  I will talk to them, hang out, etc just to pass time.  All the while they are hoping for a chance.  They know they don't have a chance but they are hoping to catch me in a weak moment and I tend to take advantage of that.

I think it is very sad when men and women can't be friends rather it is your ex/a childhood friend etc.  I have heard men say "the only females friends they have are the ones they want to sleep with." Meaning if they get a chance they are taking it. SMH I guess I can't knock the hustle! LOL

Update from a previous blog Friendship.  One of  the ladies I put in the dead category has been revived. LOL The same day I posted the blog something told me to call her. When I called her we spoke about somethings that were going on and we both apologized.  We decided to make sure we speak about any issue and not let obstacles or other people come in between us.  I will say she is in a much better place. MORAL OF THE STORY: maybe you need to take a break, breathe and regroup to see if a friendship is worth saving!!

How do you handle male/female friendships? Exes? Any other friendship overhauls?  Have you ever revived a dead friendship?!

Friendship....

When I purchased this month issue of Essence magazine it was about friendship.  This resonated with me b/c the last couple of years I felt like I needed to do a friend makeover. 

I have broken down my friendships into four categories:

DEAD
Within the past year I have ended two friendships.  One person had been my friend since high school (9th grade) and the other since I was 18 years old.  I will say since I've ended those relationships my life has been easier.  I am no longer hearing their drama (which hadn't changed in all those years), no longer drained from our conversations and most importantly I don't feel like I talking to someone who has not even asked how my day went...

LIFE SUPPORT
I  have two friends on their way out the door.  They are both extremely negative and complacent. They aren't motivated and we don't have anything in common. I only speak to one by email once every couple of months and the other I will talk to her on the phone but #icant deal with her that long.

MY HEARTS
Then there is my BFF.  She and I have known each other since 8th grade but our friendship didn't start until 11th grade.  She is honestly my twin.  She is dependable, funny, honest, my calculator, my conscious and she is loyal.  After all this time we have not grown apart.  I can count on her to tell me the truth not matter if she thinks my feelings will get hurt. She will tell me I am wrong but support me all at the same time.  Most importantly I can be myself and not worry if I am being judged!!!  There are a couple more that fall into this category but my BFF is the queen...lol

FRIEND LIFT
I've been saying I need new friends for quite sometime but I didn't know how to go about meeting them.  I hate to admit I am not the friendliest person at times.  How was I going to meet new people?  Twitter. lol I never thought I would actually meet people on Twitter. To date I have met 3 lovely ladies and we have hung out.  I also met some new people when I trained at Gymnetics. We meet for lunch and just have fun together.  I have no idea where these new friendships are going but I am glad I met them.  It has made me much more open to meeting other people.

The old saying reason, season and a lifetime has been true in my friendships.

Do you need a friend makeover?  Have you already made over your friends?

Why Single Women Give Married Women Advice

So last week I saw several tweets wanting to know why single women give married women advice. I really thought it was funny b/c I have several married friends who I give my opinion/advice to.  However I always state I am giving you a single woman's point of view.

Now let's be real we (single women) give married women advice for one of the following reasons:

• You tell us your business
• You ask for the advice
• We consider you a friend and sometimes we have an opinion about how OUR friend is being treated
• We know men. Yes marriage and dating is different but men are not, they tend to remain the same no  matter what.
• We maybe able to give you a single woman's point of view especially if you are considering leaving..(I always tell my friends this single world ain't no joke. If he ain't beating you stay-work it out)
• We can sometimes see when you are wrong and need to be brought back to reality

Now if you really don't want a single woman's advice then keep your mouth shut...it's that simple. We will not have an opinion about YOUR marriage if we don't know YOUR business.

On the flip why do married women think they can give single women advice.  I know for a fact the men I am dating today are nothing like the men I dated 10 years ago. So if you have been married for awhile, what do you know about being single in this day and age...NOT A DAMN THANG!