Teach Me Tuesday

Well I have been on campus two days and here is a quick summary:

I'm too damn old to live in a dorm
The school and town has a serious problem with mosquitoes and gnats
I like my lab teacher for one of my classes
I am terrified of germs...I bleach everything all day long...sigh
I am extremely homesick
Target is 30 miles away which forces me to shop at Walmart (ughh)
I live for Thursday because that is when I can head home for the weekend
There are tons of older people in the class notably a 50 year old white male.
There are also tons of 2nd degree students
I've been able to maintain my no meat diet while at school. I just don't eat.

Today was the only day I had class and it was just a lab. I look forward to posting more about my actual learning experience next week!

WTF Wednesday

So today is Wednesday and I have the worse PMS. I think I have the most severe form of this monthly monster.  My mood is so bad I should be committed.  I can go from laughing to crying in .00000001 seconds. People should stay the hell away from me.  I just want to sleep and be left alone. Too bad it won't be happening anytime soon!!

Seriously I think I may ask my doctor for some medication.

Teach Me Tuesday

So many of my Tweetie Pies have been very supportive of my decision to go back to school to obtain a second degree.  This is a big step for me because I will be living on campus. In an effort to keep my Tweetie Pies current on my new adventure I have decided to post every Tuesday what I've learned and my experiences this time around.  I hope this will help anyone who is contemplating going back to school or who needs to make a change...

New Readers please read New Month, New outlook, New Goals to learn about my new adventure.

To save some time and energy I've decided to wear scrubs everyday. This will prevent me from worrying about outfits and all that mess. I will take accessories and make up!

The picture below is of the stuff I plan on taking to school. I'm not even done yet!.....Sigh

Money Monday

Well today is Monday and I'm talking about money.  I received my tax assessment in the mail a couple of weeks ago and was utterly pissed.  The value of my home has gone down again. I hoping/praying/wishing that it would at least hold steady but the joke was on me. So after careful consideration I've decided to do a "strategic foreclosure" on the property.  In the beginning I was SCARED about messing up my credit but in the end I am tired of throwing money away. 

Since I am/was a real estate agent I have thought about this and I know the market is not going to change anytime soon. When I purchased the house my intentions were never to live here this long (7 years). However due to the economy I was forced to stay here.  While in school I will be living on campus so I will have a place to stay the next two years.  When I finish school I will be a renter or live in my other property (my childhood home). I really think my Atlanta days will be over when I finish anyway so I keep asking myself  'why keep this house.'

If I was married or had kids I would keep the home but I have neither.  I have decided to never buy another piece of property until I get married. This shit is not for single women.....I am completely over owning a home.

I think I am going to use You Walk Away to assist me through this process.

I will be sure to keep you all updated on the process.

Learning To Say No...Rant

I have serious problem of not being able to say NO to my friends. I can be mean and cold to a lot of people but if your my friend and you need something I will try to help you.  This is starting to cause me much stress and strife in my life.  I often end up more stressed and frustrated by helping the person. 
I am currently feeling like I need to change in this area ASAP! It is causing me too much stress and I don't need it with me going back to school. I've decided to change my number the day after my birthday. This will get the last of the leeches out of my life. This will give me the opportunity to focus on school and my personal business which is unraveling as I type. 

I am seriously SICK OF PEOPLE CALLING ME WITH THEIR PROBLEMS. Especially when they can't do shit for me if I need to ever call them.

#THATISALL

New Month, New Outlook, New Goals

Well I have not posted for awhile because I have been in Nashville, TN with my sweetie. He and I are new and I wanted to spend time with him before I head off to school. After one month of being together it is safe to say we still get along. We've only had two disagreements. I think that is really good for two people who met two months ago! During this month he met my family and I met his mom. Everything is moving along nicely. The disagreements we had are something that we are working on but nothing to throw in the towel about. Unfortunately our time together must end because I will be going to nursing school 7 hours away. Which means we will be long distance. We plan on seeing each other on the weekends (2 or 3 per month). It is only for 18 months so I am sure we will work through it.

August 15th I officially begin my career change. I start nursing school at a college in the country. This experience is exciting and nerve wrecking at the same time. I have to live 3 hours from my home four days per week. I will be living on campus (something I didn't do when I went to college the first time). I am going to be completely uncomfortable but I am hoping to learn patience, discipline, and most importantly the skills I need to become a successful RN. I am going to try to get on a schedule that will consist of working out, studying, blogging and getting my spiritual life back on track. I have been off balance in ALL those areas.

Working out has been a joke in my world and I actually feel BAD about it. I really would like to lose 13lbs TODAY! So I must get back in the groove. I plan on using the facilities at my school along with some workout tapes I have. I am praying for discipline. I've joined the "Finish What You Started Challenge" with Yum Yucky . I am hoping my twitter friends and family will keep me motivated. Diet is not my problem but when it comes to being active I SUCK!

Blogging...Well I have several blogs that I do not post on. This is the only blog I use and as you know I don't do it often. I've decided to ditch my other blogs except for KissNmakemeup. However some of my post may overlap. I hope to start vlogging at some point but I am not feeling it at the moment.

Sorry for the long post I hope to keep them shorter in the future

Relationship Status

So let me start this by saying I am not the girl who has always envisioned a wedding. Mainly because I grew up in a single parent home (both parents were very active... read abt my daddy ) so I don't feel like I missed anything. Anyone that knows me will cosign I am much more concerned with being a mother than a wife. Which is why I decided I would adopt once I finished nursing school. If a man can fit into MY plan that's cool if not oh well....has always been my approach.

Now in my prior relationships I never thought about marriage. The men were usually Mr. Right Now because there was no way in hell I would have married any of them. My outlook on relationships has always been "when this ends" and like I stated in a previous blog I haven't not really been IN LOVE. Just long term relationship until they ran their course.  After my last relationship I knew I wanted to be in love but was not sure how I would achieve it. I really wanted my heart to play a major role in my next relationship. Not my head or the fact that I hate dating. In order to fall in love I feel like you must relinquish some control and I have issues with that

 Well peeps my new man has changed that. I was introduced to him via my BFF which makes things so much easier. We've only been talking a month and both of us are smitten with each other. The first thing that I liked about him was that he takes being a father serious. For those that know me know I don't do deadbeat or part time dads. That gets a HELL NO from me. Next, our conversations are easy and honest. This man can COMMUNICATE I don't have to wonder what in the hell is he thinking. For instance, I normally date other people while getting to know someone but he politely let me know he was not comfortable with that. Now in my years of dating most men go with the flow whether they want to or not. So to have a man state what he wants is very refreshing. He also let me know I will not talk to him crazy. Yeah I can be real flip at the mouth and some men just roll with it but not this one. WILL THE REAL MEN PLEASE STAND UP!! I like how when he was not in a good place he said one of the things that helped him was church. There is nothing sexier than a man that goes to church and encourages his woman to do the same. He encourages me to study for school because he doesn't want me to struggle later. I can go on and on about the guy but I'm not (maybe later).

I will end this by saying for the first time I actually thinking and hoping for a future. I may actually build something with a mate versus creating my own family by adopting. It's exciting and nerve wrecking at the same time.  It does require me to give up some control but I don't mind at all.

Missing In Action

I've been missing in action.  I feel like blogging is a job and I just don't feel like blogging sometimes.  I am trying to do better.  Here is a list of things I've been doing instead of blogging:

Eating
Sleeping
Studying for nursing school
Looking for a place to stay while in nursing school
Get to know my new insurance companies (yes I sell insurance)
Get to know my new boyfriend (blog coming)
Helping other people (blog coming)

However I need to do much better and I am sure I will....

The Effects of Having a Father

I will be the first to say I have an excellent father. He is a man that takes his job as a parent seriously.  My mother left my dad when I was five years old. When she decided to leave that meant taking his children away (from IN to GA).  To be honest he did not want a divorce but she was not hearing it. He was devastated but was determined in being in our lives. Through phone calls and visits he was able to form a bond with my sister and I.

My father did and still does go above and beyond financially. However the times we need him most he is there. He has never missed and important date in our life. When my mom was dying he flew from Singapore to make sure we were okay. He actions outweigh any check or item he has ever given us.
However I often wonder if having such a wonderful father is a curse. Although I don't expect a man to be where my father is financially I do have high expectations.  I expect a man to be consistent, caring, God fearing, honest, the head of the family, etc. If I meet a man that has children be MUST be an ACTIVE father. By active I mean physically, emotionally, and financially available to his children. It is not okay to be a every other weekend father in the same city. It is not acceptable to behind on child support. It is not acceptable to not see ur child because you have issues with the mom.

As I often wonder is my dad a blessing or a curse. I always come away with the same answer he is a blessing. If it weren't for him I would not know what a man' s role is in his family. He has given me standards and I will be forever grateful.

When To Let Your Guard Down...

As a single woman it is often necessary for us to have our guard up. I have no clue when my guard even appeared but it is there. I am not sure if my outlook on love has always been grim because my parents divorced, the things I witnessed or the fact that people make damn fools of themselves all for love. I do know I have NEVER had a broken heart and I can honestly say I may have only been in love one time (even then I am on the fence about it). Instead I have been in long term relationships that when they are over I may be sad (for a hot second) but essentially walk away without a scratch. At the end of the day I believe my desire to be in control has helped enforce my guard.

The control I have over my feelings are unreal. I did not cry as I signed the paper to remove my mother from life support, I did not cry when she took her last breath, I did not cry at her funeral nor did I cry at the burial. I spent that time making sure everyone around me was not falling apart. Instead I had a breakdown home alone a couple of months later. I also remember quickly crying in front of my best friend twice. Oh and I remember crying when I had to approve the body.

I typed all that to say this…..

I recently met this guy who for all purposes has me smitten. I am now faced with staying guarded and not enjoying the moment or rolling with my feelings. Either way I think I am going to be screwed (I’m working on not expecting the worse will blog about that later). 

How do I enter this with an open heart/mind without losing control?  All this has my mind completely blowed...

Miami

I had a couple of my tweetie pies inquire about my hotel while in Miami.  Let me start by saying I was completely nervous about staying in this hotel.  I normally prefer four stars but due to me procrastinating I had to book this hotel (it was close to the hotel my friend was staying in).  The price was great $240 for two night (Friday and Saturday night).
I stayed at Beach Paradise on Ocean Drive.  The location was great! Upon arriving the lobby was decent and the staff was SUPER nice!

The man at the desk no clue what his name was



The room was recently remodeled and clearly didn't match the outside or the lobby.  I was pleasantly surprised.

Pros:
Location across from the beach. Near tons of restaurants and shopping.
Price
Staff

Cons:
No microwave in the room
No fridge in the room
No wifi in the room
Cheap sheets ( I sleep on expensive sheets so I had a hard time getting adjusted)

Would I stay there again?? Yeah if I was in a pinch or on a budget.

Would I recommend this hotel? Yeah for someone traveling on a budget/ first time to Miami and in a pinch

At the end of the day you don't spend that much time in your room.

For breakfast I ate at a little spot around the corner that had the best croissants for about $5.95. They were huge and I couldn't finish it by myself.

Cutie who served me breakfast...hehe

Well I am tired of typing so I hope this helps ya'll.

Travel Club

After my horrible trip to Miami I realized how much I missed traveling.  I use to go on a vacation once a year and I can not remember the last time I did that.  The biggest reason I stopped traveling is because my friends normally didn't have funds.  One of my favorite bloggers Haute Travels suggested I  go on a solo trip, I have to admit I''m scared but on the verge of trying it.

So I am thinking of starting a traveling club. I would like to go on about three trips per year:

• Some place within the U.S. (Maine is high on the list I heard it is beautiful)
• An island
• International trip

If any of you think this is a good idea please comment. I would love to start planning.

Lesson Learned

So I reluctantly went on a trip with a friend for her birthday. I initially had reservations about going because of the age difference and there were going to be couples on the trip. I went because the birthday girl is a really good person and I love her like a sister.

Well I get there and and everything is cool until we get on the beach. Birthday girl starts complaining about it being hot and how she hates the beach*blank stare* she planned the trip. So we leave the beach to start getting ready for her birthday dinner. The restaurant and food was really nice. However the convo was BORING and you can tell when people are trying to out do each other. Well I ate and left after I paid my tab.

Saturday I started my day early because I didn't want to be with them. I had a great breakfast and spent 6 hrs on the beach....relaxing in the sun. Birthday girl called a couple of times but she was shopping and I had not interest in shopping.

That evening the three of us went to dinner (bday girl, her hubby and I) and her sister joined us later. OMG!! She and I (the sister) almost come to blows and we ALL got kicked out the restaurant.  Birthday girl is crying and super pissed. Needless to say we never made it to any clubs and I feel like I wasted my money.

I learned follow your right mind and don't travel with people you don't know.

I'm blogging from my phone for the first time I'm getting adjusted.

I Woud Kill A B*%$H

Disclaimer there is some profanity in this blog...
In the past couple of weeks I have read and watched on television some high profile women experiencing the ultimate betrayal.  The first was the Shania Twain incident and now Arnold Schwarzenegger .  Now women may be trained or willing to accept that men will cheat and if they choose to forgive that is their decision.  However when the other woman is a friend, family member, associate, etc it is just plain wrong.  I WOULD KILL A B!SH!!

Let's visit Shania's story. Her best friend the person she confided in about EVERYTHING was screwing her husband. Shania said she would talk to the woman about her marriage and that she felt something was wrong.  This skank would tell Shania everything is okay it's your imagination.  Then the lady wasn't woman enough to give her an explanation when Shania found out about the affair. I WOULD KILL A B!SH!

Arnold Schwarzenegger this MF has some nerve. Not only did he cheat he fathered a child with a freaking maid. That is not even the worse part.  He allows the skank to keep working in the same house as his wife.  ULTIMATE DISRESPECT!! Paying her a salary and child support all while his wife doesn't know. I am sure Maria met this child and was very friendly to this skank.  From my understanding the hoe "retired" and received a severance package.  I WOULD KILL A B!SH!

In my personal experiences I've had two friends sleep with a guy I was dating (the same guy).  The funny thing is I was not surprised about one of the females because she was a whore and jealous.  The other female took me completely by surprise (not sure why because her past was questionable).  Ironically the guy in the situation confessed/apologized but the skanks still deny it. This other young lady was trying to be my friend and sleep with a guy I was dating.  Well I politely called her AT WORK and said the following "I don't mind you trying to fuck my man because he is a good man. You trying to be my friend and do it will get you an ass whooping." I was nineteen or twenty at the time #dontjudgeme.  She was so scared that she wouldn't even look in his direction. I ALMOST KILLED A B!SH!!

At this point I keep the men in my life private.  There is only one person I trust around the men in my life. PERIOD

What I don't understand is how do females even get in these situations.  My best friend already knows I don't want to meet someone she likes because they are irrelevant.  If we ever meet I don't want his number, email, facebook or twitter accounts. Some things are just out of order.  If ANY man she was dealing with even tried to call me I would immediately let her know (unless he was planning a surprise).  So how in the world are all these women sleeping with their friends husbands, boyfriends, and  hell even a jumpoff.  Why do they even have access to their mates.  Some people are just off limit!!

Yes the man took the vows and made the promise blah blah blah.... Women need to get more respect period.

I feel like this I can get another hubby, house, car, marriage, etc. I am not sure if I would ever be able to get another best friend. I am not sure if I would ever want to open myself up to another female in that way again.  Even if I did I would be giving her ass the side eye.

What are your thoughts?!  Sorry for the language but this pisses me off!!

When Should the Panties Drop

Disclaimer: Please keep the Bible out of the comments.  I am clear what the Bible states. I was raised in the church and know sex before marriage is a no, no. I struggle with pre martial sex but this article is not about the Bible...Thanks in advance!

How long should the panties stay up?! Great question.  I have heard so many responses when I asked single men and women their thoughts on the topic.

One male friend said "if a woman is not giving me any within 30 days then I'm cutting her off." Now this is CRAZY.  My response is what do you know about a person in 30 days that will  make you risk your life (HIV), health (STDs), and risk impregnating a FREAKING STRANGER!!!  He feels like why waste so much time getting to know a person and the sex ends up being WACK. 

His response hit home because I wasted plenty of time 9 months or longer keeping my panties on and when I finally let them down #EPICFAIL.  Then I  am attached because he is a great guy.  Well great guy and bad sex/little dick don't last long (at least not for me).  If I would have dropped my panties sooner I could have chucked him the deuces and saved tons of time.

I've never had a one night stand or sex on the first date for that matter. The times I had sex early (second date) I was not disappointed nor did I feel like I wasted time.  One turned into a long term relationship and the other was a boo! Either way I was not mad. So I totally get the the longer you wait it is a strong possibility that you will be disappointed.

Sex is very important to me in a relationship. Whether I drop the panties sooner or later I need him to have his bedroom game on point.

As long you are having sex because YOU want to and you are responsible DO YOU! 

When do you think it is too soon to drop the panties?!

Cheating

Let's just say I have only caught someone cheating once.  Go over to Bossy Girl for the details. Now I have dated people who I was 99.9% sure they weren't faithful but it wasn't in my face.  So we remained on a don't ask don' tell policy.  At the end of the day I don't think I gave a damn.*shrug*

My uncle often told me ALL men cheat but when yours cheat you have to decide if he is worth keeping.  He believes if a woman's only issue is her man cheating every once in a while AND he is handling all his business at home she needs to get over it.  She could possibly leave her man get another one that WILL cheat, not work, not pay bills, or do stuff around the house.  I hate to admit it but I kinda agree.  I'm not saying it is okay to cheat but I don't think cheating is a reason to end a relationship.

If the cheating was only sex I would like to think I would eventually be able to move past it.  Now if he was in love and carrying on a relationship I sure I would dismiss him.  I don't want to think about him creating a child or bringing home a STD.  Those are immediate deal breakers.

I am going to piss some women off with what I am about to say but oh well. I would ask myself why did he cheat was there anything I was or was not doing to push him away. Too many times I hear women say they aren't sleeping with their men.  Sometimes women will completely let themselves go and think it is okay because the had a kid or two. They treat the men like their son instead of their man.  I can go on and on. Don't get me wrong SOME not all men are straight hoes but there are a few who genuinely make a mistake.

What are your thoughts on cheating?  Can you forgive your mate for cheating?

Single Until Married

When I tell people "I am single until married" they are often confused.  Especially when I tell this to my significant other.  So I thought I would take the time to break down what this means TO ME!

Single until married means stay in your lane. Perform the duties that go along with your title. If you are not sure of the duties you should perform keep reading.

DATING
When dating you are SINGLE and you should be your only priority.  Therefore you really shouldn't (well I don't) do anything unless you want to. No need to compromise. If he can't get with you or you can't get with him tell him "we're incompatible." No need to waste your time.  I was once told "dating in like  American Idol let the best man win" That is the now my motto.

IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP
This is really tricky for most people. However this is the area were the boundaries need to be set. If not you will find yourself performing wife duties and your just a girlfriend.  When I am in a relationship I am still SINGLE (there is no box for go together) but I have made a conscious decision to be monogamous. This does not mean I am washing your clothes, cooking you dinner, cleaning your house, picking up your dry cleaning, helping you pay bills, etc.  At the same time I am not asking a man to cut my grass, move furniture, etc. I have family and male friends for that. 

Women tend to take the title has girlfriend and go over board.  I learned the hard way not to do that.  If you are doing ALL that and not his wife why should he marry you.  I will tell a man I'm in a relationship with "oh I don't do any of that. If that is what you want WE ARE INCOMPATIBLE." Don't get me wrong I will let him know I can cook, clean, etc. I may help with run an errand but it is when it is convenient for me and not because it's my job.  I am doing it because he is the BOMB and I want to surprise my baby! I've found that he appreciates it a lot more when I do on my time and not his.

When in a committed relationship I am faithful but not a dummy.  At the end of the day my options are always open. Meaning I keep male friends and will make new male friends. I do not believe in closing myself off just because we go together. #chileplease

At this point in my life if a man wants me acting like his wife he needs to put a ring on it!

What are your duties in the above roles? Do you agree or disagree?

We Can't Be Friends

Well the past year I have been doing an overhaul of my friendships.  While thinking on my friendships I began to feel like it is extremely hard to be friends with exes and men. 

I have several male friends but lately I have the feeling that a couple of them want more.  They are starting to make comments and I am wondering what their intentions are.  I've decided to distance myself from them but I have a feeling that I may have to end a couple of those friendships.

I've decided to cut all ties with my exes.  I've deleted their numbers and asked that they not contact me anymore (especially that married one).  Although I have no desire to date/sleep with them I have to admit I am guilty because I use them as time wasters.  I will talk to them, hang out, etc just to pass time.  All the while they are hoping for a chance.  They know they don't have a chance but they are hoping to catch me in a weak moment and I tend to take advantage of that.

I think it is very sad when men and women can't be friends rather it is your ex/a childhood friend etc.  I have heard men say "the only females friends they have are the ones they want to sleep with." Meaning if they get a chance they are taking it. SMH I guess I can't knock the hustle! LOL

Update from a previous blog Friendship.  One of  the ladies I put in the dead category has been revived. LOL The same day I posted the blog something told me to call her. When I called her we spoke about somethings that were going on and we both apologized.  We decided to make sure we speak about any issue and not let obstacles or other people come in between us.  I will say she is in a much better place. MORAL OF THE STORY: maybe you need to take a break, breathe and regroup to see if a friendship is worth saving!!

How do you handle male/female friendships? Exes? Any other friendship overhauls?  Have you ever revived a dead friendship?!

Workout Wednesday

I believe I worked out 3 days last week which is better than nothing. My water intake sucked and my diet was borderline.

Today my HCG came in the mail and I am super excited.  I have tons of people inquiring about HCG (Human Chorionic Gonadotropin). This is a hormone that our body produces and when taken in small doses it should burn abnormal fat. I am hoping it decreases my abdominal area ONLY. I don't want to lose my butt, hips, and breast.

Guidelines:
**10-20 drops 3 times per day. Hold under you tongue 15 seconds before swallowing
First two days eat a high calorie diet while taking the drops.
Starting day 3 you will be on a 500 calorie diet
Drink 100 oz of water per day (pray for  me)
Decide which plan you want to be on 15 day, 26 day or 40 day plan.  Just remember to stop taking the drops 3 days prior to the end of your plan
Light to no exercise

I will be posting my process weekly!!

View the results of one my tweeps Attorney2B to order this product contact @DymeataB on Twitter

My Weekend

My weekend was okay.

Friday night I was so sleepy and I fell asleep on the couch rather early.

On Saturday I went to an event that Black Tie ATL held celebrating being in business two years. Let's just say the food was AWESOME  and the owner is very gracious.  While at the event I ran into an old friend and we chatted it up.  I also ran into two of my tweeps Singleinatlanta and Arball. It was nice to put a face with a tweet.  @singleinatlanta is really nice and seems like so much.  In fact she is holding an event for singles this weekend (I will post later).  I also met a potential boo at the event (Inquisitive Boo).

Well Inquisitive Boo suggested we attend a day party at Luckie Lounge. I am not a fan of Luckie Lounge because the crowd is not my cup of tea.  However I went because I was not ready to go home and it was an #EPICFAIL. There were tons of old people, fat people, light skin men and I am not going to start on the attire. SMDH  The service was horrible and from what I was told the bathroom looked like a locker room.  Needless to say I will not be going back to Luckie Lounge for anything.

When I returned home my married ex called and decided to finally fix my rear brakes.  He also mentioned his wife was out of the country for a month and he would love to take me out. WTF!! I don't get it. Sigh...He is very adamant about us spending time together. I keep telling him I don't married men. He of course says "we are just friend." .I think I am going to ask him for a couple of grand. Asking a man for money is a sure fire way to get him to stop calling.  My "friendship" with him has me wondering if people can be friends with their ex (blog coming).

Once my married ex left I met Inquisitive Boo for drinks.  He is a cutie but looks wise he is not my type.  I prefer tall, dark and handsome.  He is short, light skin with good hair.  However I had a decent time but he asks tons of questions (probably because he is a writer).  I am not use to men that like to communicate and that ask so many questions.  We made plans to go out this week so I will keep you posted.

How was your weekend?!

Workout Wednesday

WORKOUTMonday I did Jillian Michaels "30 Day Shred" AND I did 40 minutes at the gym,

Tuesday I only did the DVD

Wednesday I only went to the gym and did 40 mins of cardio

Thursday I did nothing

Friday I did both..

I was so pleased in this area!

DIET
I didn't keep a food diary but I noticed I did really good with the food during the day but I snacked at night.  Then my cycle started so that is when I realized why I did so much snacking last week.

WATER
Let's not talk about it...LOL I MUST TO BETTER

Oh I decided to do the HCG diet...I've read enough about it and seen enough results so I feel comfortable trying it out. My sister from another mother @DymeataB on twitter sells it so I purchased my bottle. Can't wait to share the results.

After I complete the HCG diet I will start my Shakeology shakes via Yum Yucky They are a little pricey but I think they will help me keep the weight off.

How was your workout last week?!

Ladies Would You Propose to a Man?

After watching Love N Hip Hop on VH-1 my twitter TL was full of comments regarding Chrissy's decision to propose to Jim Jones. 

I would never ask to marry a man not matter how I feel.  That is out of order and it starts emasculation process. Don't get me wrong I admire any woman that can put themselves out there like that but for me HELL NO!!! Somethings just ain't right.  He has not asked for a reason and those reason may or may be you...i.e his career, finances, etc. Most men want to make sure they can PROVIDE for their family before they make that leap. Well that and they are done whoring around...whatever the reason fall back and let him propose. 

Before I get some strange comments, I am not saying wait for him to come around.  Every woman should have a time table and goal when it pertains to her relationship.  When you have reached yours speak on it and decide if you want to continue being the GF.  If not #moveon

Ladies would you propose? Fellas how do you feel about a woman proposing to you?

Friendship....

When I purchased this month issue of Essence magazine it was about friendship.  This resonated with me b/c the last couple of years I felt like I needed to do a friend makeover. 

I have broken down my friendships into four categories:

DEAD
Within the past year I have ended two friendships.  One person had been my friend since high school (9th grade) and the other since I was 18 years old.  I will say since I've ended those relationships my life has been easier.  I am no longer hearing their drama (which hadn't changed in all those years), no longer drained from our conversations and most importantly I don't feel like I talking to someone who has not even asked how my day went...

LIFE SUPPORT
I  have two friends on their way out the door.  They are both extremely negative and complacent. They aren't motivated and we don't have anything in common. I only speak to one by email once every couple of months and the other I will talk to her on the phone but #icant deal with her that long.

MY HEARTS
Then there is my BFF.  She and I have known each other since 8th grade but our friendship didn't start until 11th grade.  She is honestly my twin.  She is dependable, funny, honest, my calculator, my conscious and she is loyal.  After all this time we have not grown apart.  I can count on her to tell me the truth not matter if she thinks my feelings will get hurt. She will tell me I am wrong but support me all at the same time.  Most importantly I can be myself and not worry if I am being judged!!!  There are a couple more that fall into this category but my BFF is the queen...lol

FRIEND LIFT
I've been saying I need new friends for quite sometime but I didn't know how to go about meeting them.  I hate to admit I am not the friendliest person at times.  How was I going to meet new people?  Twitter. lol I never thought I would actually meet people on Twitter. To date I have met 3 lovely ladies and we have hung out.  I also met some new people when I trained at Gymnetics. We meet for lunch and just have fun together.  I have no idea where these new friendships are going but I am glad I met them.  It has made me much more open to meeting other people.

The old saying reason, season and a lifetime has been true in my friendships.

Do you need a friend makeover?  Have you already made over your friends?

Workout Wednesday

STATS
131.5 lbs 4'11 which means I am about 5 lbs from being overweight.

GOAL
Lose about 10 lbs and TONE TONE TONE...I would like the love handles to disappear, stomach flatter, Beyonce thighs, and Tina Turner arms....*getting depressed thinking about it* I would like to be SUPER FINE by my bday which is in August. I DO NOT WANT TO LOSE MY ASS....I LOVE IT!!! I just want to tone it.

DIET
My eating habits aren't that bad during the week but lately I have been eating huge portions. I don't think eating large portions is good even if it is veggies.  I have also started eating late at night.

For my diet I want to try the Shakeology drinks.  Yum Yucky sent me a sample of the chocolate flavor.  In theory I would like to drink them two or three times per day with one small meal. Let's see how it goes.  I am also considering the HCG diet. Only liquids after 7 pm (water or shake). Whatever I do I need to order it soon.

WATER
I suck at drinking water. My drink of preference is cranberry juice. I will go without drinking for days because I don't want water.  I have been told I need to drink half my weight in water. For me that is the recommended eight glasses...sigh I am gradually trying to get this number up.

WORKOUT
I am not discipline in this area.  The sad part is when I am on a roll working out I can lose the weight.  So I decided to do 40 mins of cardio at the gym five days per week. I despise cardio so I split my cardio up 10 mins on each machine (rotating stairs, elliptical, treadmill and bike).  I've noticed I burn the most calories on the rotating stairs and treadmill.  I'm going to top that with Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred DVD.  This workout has 3 levels.  I am currently on level one but I hope to move to level two by next Monday.  My biggest hurdle is the upper body workouts. 


I hope to keep you updated on my journey to lose weight! I am hoping to treat myself with a super sexy photoshoot once I've reached my goald and MAINTAINED it.

What are you doing to lose weight?!

My Approach to Dating

Being a thirty one, single, black female in Atlanta is really hard.  Especially since this is the first time I have been single in eight or nine years.  With that being said I had to create my dating philosophy.

My philosophy for dating is:

Have fun. Don't take dating to seriously.  Enjoy the moment (i.e. date).  I've decided to stay away from heavy conversation on the first date.  No interrogating the man.  Now if he offers some details I may inquire but probably not.  The reason I will not get to heavy on the first date is because I may never see this man again. So I don't see the point in getting all in his business. That is a waste of my memory cells.

Don't sweat the small stuff. If he doesn't call or text when he said he will DON'T TRIP. He doesn't owe me a damn thing we are not in a relationship.  As long as he is respectful then I am going to roll with it. Now if he is chronically late and never calls than that is another issue. Besides I'm known for not calling or returning text messages.

Take things slowly. No need to rush, to be honest I think it takes at the minimum six months before the representative starts to fade (fade not leave it can take up to 2 yrs for the rep to leave).  So I am not trying to become exclusive with anyone before six months. I am retaining the right to be single and mingle....

Keep your options open.  I am still learning this but it is the only way to be.  I date other people not matter who I like the most.Until I am in a monogamous relationship I AM SINGLE so I act accordingly

Don't be too available.

Be safe.  For me I only have sex with one person at a time but some people don't. Don't matter who or how many people you sleep with WRAP IT UP!!!!

Be honest about everything.



***I reserve the right to add to this list as I see fit


What is your dating philosophy?

Good Date Gone Bad

 If you all remember my post Three Dates One Day I mentioned I went out with Short Boo and that the date was good.  He even sent a nice text message after.  A couple of hours after the text I received a phone call that I ignored. A couple of hours after that I received another phone call. I decided to answer that phone call because I wanted to dead him for the rest of the night.  I told him I was going to Cafe Circa with some of my girlfriends (Bossy Girl and Lipgloss and Binky) I thought this would make him chill for the rest of the night...WRONG!!


He mentioned he may stop by to see me at Cafe Circa b/c he wanted to see what I was wearing. *shrug* I of course told him to call me first (my plan was to ignore his call).  Do you know this short MF just appeared and had the nerve to stay. On top of that he didn't offer to buy us drinks.  So he FINALLY goes downstairs to chill and let us have our girl time.  While he is downstairs he is calling me and texting me like I'm not busy.  He wanted me to come downstairs with him...WTF who does that? #really  When I never appeared he bought his short ugly ass back upstairs. By this time we all are looking like umm you are a stalker  (explains why he is 40 with no kids and never married).  Finally he goes back downstairs and I hit door because the dickmatizor called.....

Now Short Boo is called Stalker Boo....

The sad thing is he keeps calling and I haven't answered...When will he get the hint?

Have you ever had a stalker or a date gone bad?

Why Single Women Give Married Women Advice

So last week I saw several tweets wanting to know why single women give married women advice. I really thought it was funny b/c I have several married friends who I give my opinion/advice to.  However I always state I am giving you a single woman's point of view.

Now let's be real we (single women) give married women advice for one of the following reasons:

• You tell us your business
• You ask for the advice
• We consider you a friend and sometimes we have an opinion about how OUR friend is being treated
• We know men. Yes marriage and dating is different but men are not, they tend to remain the same no  matter what.
• We maybe able to give you a single woman's point of view especially if you are considering leaving..(I always tell my friends this single world ain't no joke. If he ain't beating you stay-work it out)
• We can sometimes see when you are wrong and need to be brought back to reality

Now if you really don't want a single woman's advice then keep your mouth shut...it's that simple. We will not have an opinion about YOUR marriage if we don't know YOUR business.

On the flip why do married women think they can give single women advice.  I know for a fact the men I am dating today are nothing like the men I dated 10 years ago. So if you have been married for awhile, what do you know about being single in this day and age...NOT A DAMN THANG!
 

Three Dates..One Day

Well this past Saturday I was pretty busy.  I had three dates and each were impromptu.  Saturday I was headed to Atlantic Station alone when a friend  (TD Boo) call and said he would join me. TD Boo and I have been friends for years and there is an attraction. There are a couple of reason I don't want to advance our relationship.  He is not looking for a relationship, we are friends, and we had sex years ago and I don't really remember much about it.  I feel like since my memory is foggy when it comes to our relations it must not have been that great.  Since we are now friends I don't want to mess that up.  I can't lie we have chemistry, we flirt and we can talk about anything but I'm not willing to risk our friendship or waste my time.

Date # 2 was with a really short man (Short Boo) and he is not that cute but the conversation is great.  We decided to have drinks b/c I wasn't hungry.  We drank and talked for a couple of hours. Very easy conversation. The dated ended with a goodbye and a quick hug.  A couple of hours later I received a text that said "you know I enjoyed your company! You are extremely social person with a great personality."  I took that to mean I talk too much! LMBO ( I will blog about this fool in a later post)

Date #3 was with the dickmatizor (a man who can lay the pipe).  Well I wouldn't call it a date I would just call it a hook up.  Now the dickmatizor and I have been seeing each other for about 6 months.  He is a really nice guy but we are incompatible in so many areas. Dickmatizor is also VERY busy with work so it is a bad fit other than the sex. I am currently weaning myself off him. #prayforme

Needless to say I was busy Saturday....

How was your weekend?

My First Tweet and Meet

So last Thursday I had my first Tweet and Meet with a male tweep (who I will call Twitter Boo). Being as though I am deathly afraid of internet stalkers and killers I was shocked at myself for agreeing to meet Twitter Boo.  However I am learning to relinquish all of the boundaries I have created. 

Umm my first impression of Twitter Boo is that he was tall, dark and and a cutie.  He looked liked his picture which is a good thing b/c most people use old pictures. I met Twitter Boo at his job and he decided we were having Mexican food.  The fact that HE decided where we were going was a plus and who doesn't like Mexican.

To me the conversation seemed pretty easy and I don't recall any moments were there was an awkward silence. I didn't really feel like I was meeting a stranger (I guess because we tweet ) nor did I feel the pressure of a date.  After we ate and had a couple of margaritas the tweet and meet was over.

Not sure what I thought of Twitter Boo.  I didn't leave with the feeling I had to see him again nor did I feel like I didn't want to see him again.  I'm sure if he asked I was go out with him again. *shrug*

I'm just proud that I stepped out of the box!

Guest Blogger

I'm a guest blogger at http://www.bossygirl1980.com/ check it out!

Am I The Only One

Well am I the only 30 something woman not getting any on the regular? After being in a relationship for 3 years and getting sick when he would touch me I was happy when I found a guy I was compatible with in the bedroom.  He was large like I like and could last for a looong time! *flashback* However all good things must come to an end...

I feel like just when I was getting my sex life mojo back it went south.

So what is a girl to do?!

My Dating Life or Lack Thereof

Let's just say I am a serial monogamist. I despise all this casual dating and game playing.  It seems like such a waste of time (I can buy my own dinner, movie, etc). However I am now single for the first time in about 10 years (several LONG term relationships) and dating is a must *roll eyes* and *sucks teeth.*  Making a conscious decision not to enter a relationship this past year has been very rewarding.  I admit I have gotten use to not being bothered with a person, not having to think about a persons feeling, not checking in, not having pity sex, etc.

I believe I am single due to my daddy (the bar is really high due to him), I'm extremely guarded, and some of the guys I've dated.  Now when it comes to dating/being in a relationship I consider my self an equal opportunist to some degree. I'm not stuck on titles, careers (although you need to do something), etc. Don't get me wrong I do have requirements but I am open to dating a blue collar man.  I just remember what my mother told me about my dad...he had millionaire potential when they married. She made the right decision by looking past where he was because where he IS...is on TOP! Can you tell I love my daddy?!

Basiclly I've dated dope boys (who happened to be my best BFs), entreprenuers (2nd best), a PSYCHO millionaire, and an old average corporate dude (who was ugly).  Each of them had their faults but I can honestly say I have never been dogged by any of them. They all spoiled me in their own special way. One of them would bathe me in the shower, then lotion me up after and serve in bed (he cheated but hey I can't be mad).

This bring me to today....I've been single for one year and booless for a short time. Now I'm on the prowl but I have no clue on how to start dating. I have so many rules and regulations until I AM IN MY OWN WAY. I don't want to be hooked up by friends (I'm private), I REFUSE to date online (seems so desperate), I don't like light skin men (which goes for white men), etc. I am sure you get the hint. Some of my tweeps have been giving me great ideas but I have yet to put them in motion.

So with all that do you all have any ideas for me to start this dating thing?! As you see I need some major help!

Natural Hair

Before I go in on this natural hair craze let me say that I don't have nappy hair at all but it is extremely thick. Of course most girls with thick long hair are tender-head.  My mom tortured me by not letting me get a perm until I was 13 because she didn't want to "damage my good hair"..*side eye*

There seems to be a craze with this natural hair thing and I don't get it. I'm not sure why anyone would want to walk around with nappy hair especially in the Georgia heat (when your roots swell up it looks like a bad hat on your head).  Nor do I understand some women who feel they are more black or more in touch with their authentic self b/c they have nappy hair.  Lastly why bother getting your hair pressed every week when (to train your  hair)... just do us all a favor and GET A PERM.

There is also the group of people who believe natural hair is healthier. How many of you have seen a natural head that is broke off? That is a disaster !!! From what I've been told by several stylist natural hair often needs more attention. Don't ask me why but I'm guessing because it is nappy...*kanye shrug*

Now I do have a group of friends that are natural but it is only b/c perms irritate their scalp.  They often tell me it is highly overrated. 

What do you think about this natural hair craze?!!

Summer Guide for the Ladies

HAIR
Let's keep our hair combed whether it is weave, natural or creamy crack. There is nothing worse than seeing a napped headed chick walking around in the the summer time.
Remember hair traps odor so please shave or wax the following areas:
Underarm (my motto is pick up the soap pick up the razor) I shave this area daily whether I see hair or not
**Your underarms will look like a pu$$y with powder on it if you don't keep it shaved
Bikini
**Try a Brazilian wax..It is the bomb you will want to show everyone and touch it all day! lmbo It is so worth the pain
Legs
**I understand some men/women like hairy legs. If hairy legs is  your preference DO YOU BOO! *side eye*

NAILS
No chipped fingernails or toenails
No toenails that are so long they are hanging over your shoe
EVERY polish ain't for everybody (make sure it compliments your skin tone)
It is hood to have designs on every toenail or fingernail

SHOES
Try to get some bedazzled flip flops if you MUST wear them daily
Make sure your heels or toes are not hanging over the shoe

CLOTHES
Please make sure you dress to compliment  your figure (everything ain't for everybody).
Please wear a bra if you need one Also some of us need a bra even if the tank has a bra
Leggings and/or short shorts ain't for everybody
MAKE SURE YOU LOOK DECENT IN YOUR BATHING SUIT!!!

MAKEUP
Understand you change complexions in the summer. So visit your local makeup counter for the correct foundation..
Less is more in the summer. Sweat and makeup is a HOT MESS in the summer.

BE READY FOR THE HEAT
As a woman you should keep a change of clothes, soap, towels, shoes ( a hoe bag) in your car.  You never know when you need to freshen up in the summer!!

Let me know if I missed anything

Why Women Cheat?!

Cheating!! It is often accepted and  considered normal when done by a man.  However when a woman cheats it is considered taboo.  I have been the cheater (only once) and I have been cheated on before (that story is blog worthy).  Most people will agree men cheat because: The only thing better than pu$$y is NEW pu$$y (they said it I didn't). When a woman cheats it is because she is missing something from her relationship or there is something missing within herself.

Here are a couple of reason a woman may cheat that has nothing to do with her mate:

• She is hoe...let's be honest all women aren't faitful and some see men as a piece of meat.  They live for their new conquest and will let anyone know how much they love the penis.
• She has low self esteem..I am going to offend some people but this is  my blog.  I've noticed a lot of big and ugly girls suffer from this. They sleep with anything and anyone no matter if they are in a relationship. They have the mindset that he is going to leave anyway

Now that I have those reasons out of the way here is the part the fellas aren't going to like:

• You have a little dick or you have a big one and can't use it.
• You are BORING in bed. There is nothing worse than a man who is predictable in bed...#geesh. Most women want to try the freaky stuff but will not bring it up b/c we may be worried about what you will think. We want the man to bring up all the freaky ideas so he will not give us the side eye..
• You are BORING outside of the bedroom.
• You have raggedy business
• You cheated on her
• You are not a good communicator
• Your selfish
• She wants to get rid of you and realize this is they only way (this back fired in my situation)
• She just don't like your ass

In my case when I cheated he the sex was wack, raggedy business, he was ugly and I just couldn't stand the sight of him anymore and a long list of other reasons.  No matter how I felt about him his disappointment and hurt was a reality check for me.  That is when I said I will never cheat on another person. To be honest the other guy was perfect on paper but humped like a rabbit! LOL

Let me know if you have more reasons women cheat..I will be more than hapy to add to my list!

What Workout...I'm full of S**T

 Well I have been really slow in making updates. I was extremely busy studying for a test which I took last week and the other reason is I haven't done a damn thing.

Week of the 17th I worked out will Ellen and Lana Ector twice.  They kicked my butt as usual. I really enjoy my workouts with them. I am not an outside person but they do some of the workouts outside. I REALLY enjoyed being outside and the change of pace from the gym.  I know I won't do outside in the summer but this weather and early spring would be ideal for me.

Week of the 24th ....Well I didn't go one day. In my defense I had to prepare for an entrance exam. The drive is also a bit much. When I enrolled in the program I was working downtown. Well the first week of the program I was laid off.Which means I was driving from Douglasville to Chamblee Dunwoody....too damn much for me. I'm lazy when it comes to driving. My granny always said excuses are like assholes...we all have one!

In the end my scale at home said I lost 3 lbs. I should be happy but I'm not. I know if I would have stuck with Ellen and Lana I would have lost more...sigh

I guess I am headed back to LA Fitness until I find a job (I'm crossing my fingers that is is near Ellen and Lana).  After working out at GYMnetics I dread going back to the gym but I need to remain on #teamnofat.

Workout update

The week of 1/3/11 I started my workouts with Ellen and Lana Ector of Gymnetics.  I am pleased to say I was pleasantly surprised upon arrival.  I was surprised because there was NO black on black crime. SN: black on black crime is when I attempt to do business with a black owned company and it goes WRONG. 

Back to the story

I was not shocked at my initial weigh in because I weigh myself daily. Here are my stats: 136 lbs and I am 4'11. By the white people standards I am overweight but who cares. I was so glad when she said we will keep my hips, butt and breast. I ♥ my curves and don't want to see them go. We both agreed I will try to lose 10 lbs and tone tone tone.  I am waiting for the day my thighs are once again enemies.

My initial goal was to workout 4 days per week but I only made three workouts. The workouts consist of cardio, weights, crunches, squats, and lunges. I was never bored and the time went by fast.

Week of 1/10/11 IT ALL WENT TO HELL.  The ice storm in GA messed me all up. I ate BAD, I drank BAD, and I didn't workout...sigh.  I haven't done a damn thing. I keep telling myself I will do something but I can't get out of the bed...I hope to redeem myself Friday-Sunday.

xoxo

Happy New Year

Happy New Year!

Today I start my training with Lana Ector of http://www.gymneticsfitness.com/. I am really looking forward to it. They had a great special of $99 for the month of January (UNLIMITED TRAINING).The biggest loser will win a photoshoot with Robert Ector of http://www.taylorectorstudios.com/robertector.

Well since my thighs are now BFFs, I have back fat and love handles. I thought it was time to bring in the professionals. I am hoping they will whip me in shape because being overweight or out of shape  is not something I aspire to be. It is unhealthy but mostly importantly (to me anyway) IT AIN'T CUTE.

I will be posting my measurements and  photos sometime this week!