We Can't Be Friends

Well the past year I have been doing an overhaul of my friendships.  While thinking on my friendships I began to feel like it is extremely hard to be friends with exes and men. 

I have several male friends but lately I have the feeling that a couple of them want more.  They are starting to make comments and I am wondering what their intentions are.  I've decided to distance myself from them but I have a feeling that I may have to end a couple of those friendships.

I've decided to cut all ties with my exes.  I've deleted their numbers and asked that they not contact me anymore (especially that married one).  Although I have no desire to date/sleep with them I have to admit I am guilty because I use them as time wasters.  I will talk to them, hang out, etc just to pass time.  All the while they are hoping for a chance.  They know they don't have a chance but they are hoping to catch me in a weak moment and I tend to take advantage of that.

I think it is very sad when men and women can't be friends rather it is your ex/a childhood friend etc.  I have heard men say "the only females friends they have are the ones they want to sleep with." Meaning if they get a chance they are taking it. SMH I guess I can't knock the hustle! LOL

Update from a previous blog Friendship.  One of  the ladies I put in the dead category has been revived. LOL The same day I posted the blog something told me to call her. When I called her we spoke about somethings that were going on and we both apologized.  We decided to make sure we speak about any issue and not let obstacles or other people come in between us.  I will say she is in a much better place. MORAL OF THE STORY: maybe you need to take a break, breathe and regroup to see if a friendship is worth saving!!

How do you handle male/female friendships? Exes? Any other friendship overhauls?  Have you ever revived a dead friendship?!

Workout Wednesday

I believe I worked out 3 days last week which is better than nothing. My water intake sucked and my diet was borderline.

Today my HCG came in the mail and I am super excited.  I have tons of people inquiring about HCG (Human Chorionic Gonadotropin). This is a hormone that our body produces and when taken in small doses it should burn abnormal fat. I am hoping it decreases my abdominal area ONLY. I don't want to lose my butt, hips, and breast.

Guidelines:
**10-20 drops 3 times per day. Hold under you tongue 15 seconds before swallowing
First two days eat a high calorie diet while taking the drops.
Starting day 3 you will be on a 500 calorie diet
Drink 100 oz of water per day (pray for  me)
Decide which plan you want to be on 15 day, 26 day or 40 day plan.  Just remember to stop taking the drops 3 days prior to the end of your plan
Light to no exercise

I will be posting my process weekly!!

View the results of one my tweeps Attorney2B to order this product contact @DymeataB on Twitter

My Weekend

My weekend was okay.

Friday night I was so sleepy and I fell asleep on the couch rather early.

On Saturday I went to an event that Black Tie ATL held celebrating being in business two years. Let's just say the food was AWESOME  and the owner is very gracious.  While at the event I ran into an old friend and we chatted it up.  I also ran into two of my tweeps Singleinatlanta and Arball. It was nice to put a face with a tweet.  @singleinatlanta is really nice and seems like so much.  In fact she is holding an event for singles this weekend (I will post later).  I also met a potential boo at the event (Inquisitive Boo).

Well Inquisitive Boo suggested we attend a day party at Luckie Lounge. I am not a fan of Luckie Lounge because the crowd is not my cup of tea.  However I went because I was not ready to go home and it was an #EPICFAIL. There were tons of old people, fat people, light skin men and I am not going to start on the attire. SMDH  The service was horrible and from what I was told the bathroom looked like a locker room.  Needless to say I will not be going back to Luckie Lounge for anything.

When I returned home my married ex called and decided to finally fix my rear brakes.  He also mentioned his wife was out of the country for a month and he would love to take me out. WTF!! I don't get it. Sigh...He is very adamant about us spending time together. I keep telling him I don't married men. He of course says "we are just friend." .I think I am going to ask him for a couple of grand. Asking a man for money is a sure fire way to get him to stop calling.  My "friendship" with him has me wondering if people can be friends with their ex (blog coming).

Once my married ex left I met Inquisitive Boo for drinks.  He is a cutie but looks wise he is not my type.  I prefer tall, dark and handsome.  He is short, light skin with good hair.  However I had a decent time but he asks tons of questions (probably because he is a writer).  I am not use to men that like to communicate and that ask so many questions.  We made plans to go out this week so I will keep you posted.

How was your weekend?!

Workout Wednesday

WORKOUTMonday I did Jillian Michaels "30 Day Shred" AND I did 40 minutes at the gym,

Tuesday I only did the DVD

Wednesday I only went to the gym and did 40 mins of cardio

Thursday I did nothing

Friday I did both..

I was so pleased in this area!

DIET
I didn't keep a food diary but I noticed I did really good with the food during the day but I snacked at night.  Then my cycle started so that is when I realized why I did so much snacking last week.

WATER
Let's not talk about it...LOL I MUST TO BETTER

Oh I decided to do the HCG diet...I've read enough about it and seen enough results so I feel comfortable trying it out. My sister from another mother @DymeataB on twitter sells it so I purchased my bottle. Can't wait to share the results.

After I complete the HCG diet I will start my Shakeology shakes via Yum Yucky They are a little pricey but I think they will help me keep the weight off.

How was your workout last week?!

Ladies Would You Propose to a Man?

After watching Love N Hip Hop on VH-1 my twitter TL was full of comments regarding Chrissy's decision to propose to Jim Jones. 

I would never ask to marry a man not matter how I feel.  That is out of order and it starts emasculation process. Don't get me wrong I admire any woman that can put themselves out there like that but for me HELL NO!!! Somethings just ain't right.  He has not asked for a reason and those reason may or may be you...i.e his career, finances, etc. Most men want to make sure they can PROVIDE for their family before they make that leap. Well that and they are done whoring around...whatever the reason fall back and let him propose. 

Before I get some strange comments, I am not saying wait for him to come around.  Every woman should have a time table and goal when it pertains to her relationship.  When you have reached yours speak on it and decide if you want to continue being the GF.  If not #moveon

Ladies would you propose? Fellas how do you feel about a woman proposing to you?

Friendship....

When I purchased this month issue of Essence magazine it was about friendship.  This resonated with me b/c the last couple of years I felt like I needed to do a friend makeover. 

I have broken down my friendships into four categories:

DEAD
Within the past year I have ended two friendships.  One person had been my friend since high school (9th grade) and the other since I was 18 years old.  I will say since I've ended those relationships my life has been easier.  I am no longer hearing their drama (which hadn't changed in all those years), no longer drained from our conversations and most importantly I don't feel like I talking to someone who has not even asked how my day went...

LIFE SUPPORT
I  have two friends on their way out the door.  They are both extremely negative and complacent. They aren't motivated and we don't have anything in common. I only speak to one by email once every couple of months and the other I will talk to her on the phone but #icant deal with her that long.

MY HEARTS
Then there is my BFF.  She and I have known each other since 8th grade but our friendship didn't start until 11th grade.  She is honestly my twin.  She is dependable, funny, honest, my calculator, my conscious and she is loyal.  After all this time we have not grown apart.  I can count on her to tell me the truth not matter if she thinks my feelings will get hurt. She will tell me I am wrong but support me all at the same time.  Most importantly I can be myself and not worry if I am being judged!!!  There are a couple more that fall into this category but my BFF is the queen...lol

FRIEND LIFT
I've been saying I need new friends for quite sometime but I didn't know how to go about meeting them.  I hate to admit I am not the friendliest person at times.  How was I going to meet new people?  Twitter. lol I never thought I would actually meet people on Twitter. To date I have met 3 lovely ladies and we have hung out.  I also met some new people when I trained at Gymnetics. We meet for lunch and just have fun together.  I have no idea where these new friendships are going but I am glad I met them.  It has made me much more open to meeting other people.

The old saying reason, season and a lifetime has been true in my friendships.

Do you need a friend makeover?  Have you already made over your friends?

Workout Wednesday

STATS
131.5 lbs 4'11 which means I am about 5 lbs from being overweight.

GOAL
Lose about 10 lbs and TONE TONE TONE...I would like the love handles to disappear, stomach flatter, Beyonce thighs, and Tina Turner arms....*getting depressed thinking about it* I would like to be SUPER FINE by my bday which is in August. I DO NOT WANT TO LOSE MY ASS....I LOVE IT!!! I just want to tone it.

DIET
My eating habits aren't that bad during the week but lately I have been eating huge portions. I don't think eating large portions is good even if it is veggies.  I have also started eating late at night.

For my diet I want to try the Shakeology drinks.  Yum Yucky sent me a sample of the chocolate flavor.  In theory I would like to drink them two or three times per day with one small meal. Let's see how it goes.  I am also considering the HCG diet. Only liquids after 7 pm (water or shake). Whatever I do I need to order it soon.

WATER
I suck at drinking water. My drink of preference is cranberry juice. I will go without drinking for days because I don't want water.  I have been told I need to drink half my weight in water. For me that is the recommended eight glasses...sigh I am gradually trying to get this number up.

WORKOUT
I am not discipline in this area.  The sad part is when I am on a roll working out I can lose the weight.  So I decided to do 40 mins of cardio at the gym five days per week. I despise cardio so I split my cardio up 10 mins on each machine (rotating stairs, elliptical, treadmill and bike).  I've noticed I burn the most calories on the rotating stairs and treadmill.  I'm going to top that with Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred DVD.  This workout has 3 levels.  I am currently on level one but I hope to move to level two by next Monday.  My biggest hurdle is the upper body workouts. 


I hope to keep you updated on my journey to lose weight! I am hoping to treat myself with a super sexy photoshoot once I've reached my goald and MAINTAINED it.

What are you doing to lose weight?!

My Approach to Dating

Being a thirty one, single, black female in Atlanta is really hard.  Especially since this is the first time I have been single in eight or nine years.  With that being said I had to create my dating philosophy.

My philosophy for dating is:

Have fun. Don't take dating to seriously.  Enjoy the moment (i.e. date).  I've decided to stay away from heavy conversation on the first date.  No interrogating the man.  Now if he offers some details I may inquire but probably not.  The reason I will not get to heavy on the first date is because I may never see this man again. So I don't see the point in getting all in his business. That is a waste of my memory cells.

Don't sweat the small stuff. If he doesn't call or text when he said he will DON'T TRIP. He doesn't owe me a damn thing we are not in a relationship.  As long as he is respectful then I am going to roll with it. Now if he is chronically late and never calls than that is another issue. Besides I'm known for not calling or returning text messages.

Take things slowly. No need to rush, to be honest I think it takes at the minimum six months before the representative starts to fade (fade not leave it can take up to 2 yrs for the rep to leave).  So I am not trying to become exclusive with anyone before six months. I am retaining the right to be single and mingle....

Keep your options open.  I am still learning this but it is the only way to be.  I date other people not matter who I like the most.Until I am in a monogamous relationship I AM SINGLE so I act accordingly

Don't be too available.

Be safe.  For me I only have sex with one person at a time but some people don't. Don't matter who or how many people you sleep with WRAP IT UP!!!!

Be honest about everything.



***I reserve the right to add to this list as I see fit


What is your dating philosophy?

Good Date Gone Bad

 If you all remember my post Three Dates One Day I mentioned I went out with Short Boo and that the date was good.  He even sent a nice text message after.  A couple of hours after the text I received a phone call that I ignored. A couple of hours after that I received another phone call. I decided to answer that phone call because I wanted to dead him for the rest of the night.  I told him I was going to Cafe Circa with some of my girlfriends (Bossy Girl and Lipgloss and Binky) I thought this would make him chill for the rest of the night...WRONG!!


He mentioned he may stop by to see me at Cafe Circa b/c he wanted to see what I was wearing. *shrug* I of course told him to call me first (my plan was to ignore his call).  Do you know this short MF just appeared and had the nerve to stay. On top of that he didn't offer to buy us drinks.  So he FINALLY goes downstairs to chill and let us have our girl time.  While he is downstairs he is calling me and texting me like I'm not busy.  He wanted me to come downstairs with him...WTF who does that? #really  When I never appeared he bought his short ugly ass back upstairs. By this time we all are looking like umm you are a stalker  (explains why he is 40 with no kids and never married).  Finally he goes back downstairs and I hit door because the dickmatizor called.....

Now Short Boo is called Stalker Boo....

The sad thing is he keeps calling and I haven't answered...When will he get the hint?

Have you ever had a stalker or a date gone bad?

Why Single Women Give Married Women Advice

So last week I saw several tweets wanting to know why single women give married women advice. I really thought it was funny b/c I have several married friends who I give my opinion/advice to.  However I always state I am giving you a single woman's point of view.

Now let's be real we (single women) give married women advice for one of the following reasons:

• You tell us your business
• You ask for the advice
• We consider you a friend and sometimes we have an opinion about how OUR friend is being treated
• We know men. Yes marriage and dating is different but men are not, they tend to remain the same no  matter what.
• We maybe able to give you a single woman's point of view especially if you are considering leaving..(I always tell my friends this single world ain't no joke. If he ain't beating you stay-work it out)
• We can sometimes see when you are wrong and need to be brought back to reality

Now if you really don't want a single woman's advice then keep your mouth shut...it's that simple. We will not have an opinion about YOUR marriage if we don't know YOUR business.

On the flip why do married women think they can give single women advice.  I know for a fact the men I am dating today are nothing like the men I dated 10 years ago. So if you have been married for awhile, what do you know about being single in this day and age...NOT A DAMN THANG!
 

Three Dates..One Day

Well this past Saturday I was pretty busy.  I had three dates and each were impromptu.  Saturday I was headed to Atlantic Station alone when a friend  (TD Boo) call and said he would join me. TD Boo and I have been friends for years and there is an attraction. There are a couple of reason I don't want to advance our relationship.  He is not looking for a relationship, we are friends, and we had sex years ago and I don't really remember much about it.  I feel like since my memory is foggy when it comes to our relations it must not have been that great.  Since we are now friends I don't want to mess that up.  I can't lie we have chemistry, we flirt and we can talk about anything but I'm not willing to risk our friendship or waste my time.

Date # 2 was with a really short man (Short Boo) and he is not that cute but the conversation is great.  We decided to have drinks b/c I wasn't hungry.  We drank and talked for a couple of hours. Very easy conversation. The dated ended with a goodbye and a quick hug.  A couple of hours later I received a text that said "you know I enjoyed your company! You are extremely social person with a great personality."  I took that to mean I talk too much! LMBO ( I will blog about this fool in a later post)

Date #3 was with the dickmatizor (a man who can lay the pipe).  Well I wouldn't call it a date I would just call it a hook up.  Now the dickmatizor and I have been seeing each other for about 6 months.  He is a really nice guy but we are incompatible in so many areas. Dickmatizor is also VERY busy with work so it is a bad fit other than the sex. I am currently weaning myself off him. #prayforme

Needless to say I was busy Saturday....

How was your weekend?

My First Tweet and Meet

So last Thursday I had my first Tweet and Meet with a male tweep (who I will call Twitter Boo). Being as though I am deathly afraid of internet stalkers and killers I was shocked at myself for agreeing to meet Twitter Boo.  However I am learning to relinquish all of the boundaries I have created. 

Umm my first impression of Twitter Boo is that he was tall, dark and and a cutie.  He looked liked his picture which is a good thing b/c most people use old pictures. I met Twitter Boo at his job and he decided we were having Mexican food.  The fact that HE decided where we were going was a plus and who doesn't like Mexican.

To me the conversation seemed pretty easy and I don't recall any moments were there was an awkward silence. I didn't really feel like I was meeting a stranger (I guess because we tweet ) nor did I feel the pressure of a date.  After we ate and had a couple of margaritas the tweet and meet was over.

Not sure what I thought of Twitter Boo.  I didn't leave with the feeling I had to see him again nor did I feel like I didn't want to see him again.  I'm sure if he asked I was go out with him again. *shrug*

I'm just proud that I stepped out of the box!